So Confused

“I am so confused with my life. So confused!” Jane said with a sad face. 

“What?” said her friend. She was surprised. “You have a pretty good life, very well organized. You have everything that a person can dream of.”

Jane was not convinced:

“Up to now everything was planned and it worked as I planned. I knew what I wanted to study and at which university and I did as I planned. I knew where I wanted to live, not where my family was. I did not have the best intensions of course. I wanted to stay away from my own parents. Then I started looking for a job in this big city where almost everything was new for me. There I struggled a bit but I found a job that made me happy as well. Then the rest followed. I did not do much afterwards especially at work. It was like I was following a script, a path that was already cleared for me. 

I worked hard because I did not know otherwise. The promotions followed one after the other. I reached a stage where people at my age can dream of. Of course these promotions came with a cost, no family life, no hobbies, got divorced quickly but these were not big deals. I was busy. I knew, I had a feeling that something was wrong but I was too busy to even think about it. So I did not let myself feel anything of this sort. 

So I lived for many years like a lion is chasing me and as if there is a carrot in front of me that I need to catch. I reached a stage where I was holding the carrot for others. Then after a while they called me and told me that I can retire now.

Now I am retired. I can do whatever I want, but I do not know what to do. We reached the times that I did not plan. People are telling me that I can do sports, learn how to knit, travel, meet new people, learn a new language but for what? Why am I supposed to do these things? Then I started thinking did I have a purpose before? Have I done the things before I retired with a purpose or I just followed a flow? What was, what is the goal of life? This was the missing information, this was the missing part in my life. The thing that I tried not to think for so many years is now catching up with me. 

Up to now I lived by the rules, targets that were given to me. Now they are acting as if I have fulfilled my duties to the society, now I am retired, I am free, I can do whatever I want. They are acting as if I have been released from prison early because of good behaviour. The strage thing is I feel the same as well. There were rocks that I had to break in prison every day but now I am released. I feel like the guy in the movies standing in front of the gates of a prison with a small suitcase not knowing where to go. Both him and I knew this day will come but we are not prepared for it.

There is no lion any more chasing me. So where should I run now? Should I even run? What is my purpose, why am I here?”

She woke up with the voice of her husband. He was trying to wake her up. “Did you have a corporate nightmare? You kept asking what is the purpose? You need to get ready, don’t you have an important meeting today, come on, move!”

Why can't people reach their goals? 

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                      Experiential Design Teachings and Decision-Making Themed Blog

Experiential Design Teachings aim to give purpose to a person's life.

To be happy and successful in life...

"Since the existence of humankind on Earth, the greatest friend and foe have never changed. The person in the mirror..." 

Yahya Hamurcu 

Who’s Who? The Art of Understanding People 
Mastery in Relationships 
The Psychology of Success
Mastery in Avoidance
Designer (Strategy Design)