Style of Being Good

 Meltem had woken up early in the morning. She took a slice from the orange she had peeled and turned her gaze to the sky through the kitchen window. Ever since last week, whenever she found a quiet moment, she found herself pondering the same question.

What does it mean to be a good person?

To be a good parent…

To be a good employee…

To be a good friend…

To be a good boss...

What does it mean to be “good”?

The questions about “goodness” had first come to her mind at her friend Seda’s house. The previous week, Seda had invited Meltem and a few mutual friends for lunch. They had gathered around the table together.

“This is a table free of the three white devils!” Seda had boasted. Since all the ladies in the group were on a diet, everyone seemed satisfied. Everyone except one person…

Seda’s son, Mehmet Alp, had been so stubborn about not eating what was on his plate that day. “This is so uuuuugly!” he kept crying. The menu included boiled broccoli, boiled meat, and a green salad on the side.

Seda tried to convince her son, “Look, my boy, these are very healthy, very good for you.”

Mehmet Alp, still crying, said, “No, they’re not good at all! Oranges are healthy too, but they aren’t this ugly,” and ran away from the table. The child wanted flavor.

The table was indeed healthy, but from Mehmet Alp’s perspective, the food really lacked color and taste.

What a thing the boy had said! Meltem, for the first time, realized that she had equated “good” with being beneficial. Indeed, not everything beneficial was considered “good” by us. And not everything beautiful or tasty was considered “good” either. Was a chocolate wafer a good thing, for example? No, it wasn’t. It might taste good. Sweet things tend to taste good. But they are very harmful...

As she thought about that day in the kitchen, Meltem fixed her eyes on the slice of orange she was biting into. She began to examine the orange closely. This source of vitamin C had a sunburst orange color, a refreshing citrus scent in its peel… Its shape was round, divided into nine equal segments. Each segment was filled with dozens of juicy sacs… “Look at that, Mehmet Alp was right,” she thought with a chuckle. The child had told the truth.

For something to be considered good, neither being beneficial nor being beautiful alone was enough. Both had to be present—just like an orange.

Then she started thinking about her own situation at work. Meltem was a very successful architect. Her boss trusted her greatly, but she was one of those whose absence was noticed outside of projects. While her colleagues would go out for lunch together, Meltem would say, “I can’t leave until I finish this task,” and go out to eat alone. She did her job very well, but she also had a tense attitude that stressed out the work environment. When working, she looked as if she was being forced to do the tasks, appearing stressed and anxious. She would even turn a picnic organization into a chore. She would organize everything down to the smallest detail. She took on tasks from her friends, but in her pursuit of perfection, she would stress others out. Because of her approach, people couldn’t fully enjoy the picnics.

It’s very important for a person to lighten the burdens of those around them, to be helpful to them.

It’s very important for a child to eat healthily.

Or for an employee to do their job properly...

Or for a boss to pay insurance premiums and salaries on time.

But are all these things enough on their own to be considered “good”? If they aren’t presented with a bit of flavor, a bit of beauty, a nice style...?

“When you look at nature, you can understand what ‘good’ is in every detail...” Meltem thought.

In life, everything was created for a purpose. Trees, seedlings, fruits, animals, rocks, winds... And each of them provided such vital benefits that none of them needed to look beautiful. Even if they weren’t beautiful, even if they weren’t delicious or pleasantly scented, humans depended on them for survival…

It was humans who needed aesthetics, flavor, and beauty…

For this reason, the Creator had added a touch of beauty to everything beneficial on earth.

When you look at nature, it brings a sense of peace.

“What a merciful way of presenting things!” thought Meltem. The Creator had a style.

Fruits, which provide us with vitamins, are created with their color, taste, and scent. Moreover, each fruit has its own unique flavor and aroma. Milk, enriched with calcium, also has a smooth texture, a pure white color, and a delightful taste.

So then, why do we define "being good" as just being beneficial?

Nature is perfect; there is no flaw in nature, and pleasure is always paired with benefit… When a person feels stressed, they take a deep breath and feel relieved. They can lie on the grass, look at the sea or the trees, and feel better.

But what about when people look at each other? How should they feel and how should they make each other feel?

If a person wants to do “good,”

If they want to make something “good,”

If they want to be among the “good,”

Shouldn’t they do the right thing beautifully, and present what is beneficial in a pleasing way?

After eating the last slice of her orange, Meltem got up and put on her tracksuit. She decided to do her morning walk not on the treadmill, but in the greenery of the park outside.

The joy of life wasn’t found solely in being beneficial, nor solely in pleasure. The joy of life lay in the union of these two seemingly opposing aspects.

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                      Experiential Design Teachings and Decision-Making Themed Blog

Experiential Design Teachings aim to give purpose to a person's life.

To be happy and successful in life...

"Since the existence of humankind on Earth, the greatest friend and foe have never changed. The person in the mirror..." 

Yahya Hamurcu 

Who’s Who? The Art of Understanding People 
Mastery in Relationships 
The Psychology of Success
Mastery in Avoidance
Designer (Strategy Design)

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