Should I Be Happy or Sad?

Eda had started preparing for her trip by packing her fuchsia pink suitcase and grabbing her plane ticket. Like every summer, this trip was to her beloved hometown. Ever since her parents divorced, visiting her mother in her hometown had become even more meaningful to her. Bursting with excitement, she muttered to herself:

“When should I share this happy news? I want to make it a surprise and tell her at the last moment, but I can't hold it in for 20 days!” she said, dialing her mother with a grin.

“Mom, I’m coming! I’ll be with you on June 12th!”

Eda’s mother, Mrs. Suna, was a woman afraid of joy. For her, happiness came with risks. Whenever she received good news, an inner voice would caution her, “Don’t get too happy. This will end quickly anyway.” Eda, on the other hand, was the polar opposite, focusing on savoring every moment to the fullest. The mother and daughter often reacted in completely different—even opposite—ways to the same situations.

“Oh dear, I’ll get used to having you here, and then you’ll leave again...”

Eda no longer got angry at these comments like she used to; instead, she felt sad for her mother. In the past, she would obsess over her mom’s tendency to dwell on pain. Once, Eda had taken her mother to an expensive restaurant. While Eda enjoyed spending money on such experiences, Mrs. Suna had complained about the prices, ruining Eda’s mood. Eda had snapped at her mother and later deeply regretted her reaction. Over time, after many similar incidents, Eda decided not to let this trait of her mother bother her. While Eda focused on the enjoyable parts of life, her mother seemed preoccupied with its painful aspects.

Their contrasting approaches to life could be seen in many examples. For instance, during sleepovers with her cousins, Eda would stay up all night, baking cakes and pastries to enjoy together. Their outings were always filled with fun and adventure, though there had been some close calls with accidents during their activities. Mrs. Suna, on the other hand, avoided even everyday hassles—she’d almost skip meals just to avoid doing dishes.

Eda also loved taking her time during intercity bus trips, enjoying coffee breaks so much that she had missed buses on multiple occasions. Her mother, however, was so anxious about missing the bus that she wouldn’t even feel comfortable taking a bathroom break. For Suna, making an effort to enjoy something seemed pointless, while for Eda, it was essential. Similarly, Eda would spend her generous salary by mid-month and often borrow money to get by, whereas her mother wouldn’t even splurge on healthy foods that would benefit her well-being.

How could a mother and daughter respond so differently to the same situations?

Every experience in life contains some pleasure and some pain. Some people focus so much on the joyful aspects that they neglect caution and fail to reflect on their setbacks. Others, consumed by the painful parts, miss out on enjoying life and appreciating its positive moments. When taken to extremes, these tendencies can prevent us from reaching our full potential. However, when individuals recognize both their strengths and weaknesses, they can see the pleasure and pain in events more balanced. In doing so, they learn to enjoy life while also taking necessary precautions.

Anyone who wants to understand the unique traits of themselves and those around them to increase happiness and success in life is invited to the "Who Is Who? Seminar Program!"

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                      Experiential Design Teachings and Decision-Making Themed Blog

Experiential Design Teachings aim to give purpose to a person's life.

To be happy and successful in life...

"Since the existence of humankind on Earth, the greatest friend and foe have never changed. The person in the mirror..." 

Yahya Hamurcu 

Who’s Who? The Art of Understanding People 
Mastery in Relationships 
The Psychology of Success
Mastery in Avoidance
Designer (Strategy Design)

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