Living Life on Edge

 

It was a summer day, yet her work never seemed to end. She constantly pushed herself, her husband, and her children for a better quality of life. Starting a life from scratch was never easy. She worked at a well-known company, and both her and her husband's salaries were sufficient for their needs. However, she intended to raise their standard of living even further.

Three years ago, she had pressured her husband a lot to go abroad. They had traveled to America with their two daughters, but they had returned home in debt due to excessive shopping. Before their debts were even paid off, she started pushing for a summer house. Moreover, her husband had gone through a period of unemployment and had struggled to find a new job.

For years, she and her husband had dreamed of owning a summer house. To test different places, they had rented a house in Antalya one year and in Marmaris the next. After these trials, they finally decided to buy a house in Urla.

Her husband was a kind and cheerful man who cared deeply about his family. He had done some research and managed to buy a ground-floor house with a garden and close to a swimming pool. Everything inside was brand new. The children's room and the master bedroom were furnished to their taste. The house even came with major appliances, leaving only clothes and kitchenware to be added. Despite this being such a great and effortless investment, she still found something to complain about. The dishwasher wasn’t working, and it drove her crazy. “Do I really have to deal with this now?” she thought. She had to wash all the dishes by hand. While doing so, she called a friend to complain.

“I can’t believe this. Why do these things always happen to me?” she complained, completely unaware of the blessings she already had, focusing only on what was missing. She was well- intentioned but unaware that she was going overboard. She had the capacity to worry about everyone. However, she wasn’t ready to admit how dominant and controlling she was. She constantly corrected and directed those around her:

“That’s not the way to eat that.”

“That’s not the way to wash it.”

“How are you doing that? I never do it like that.”

She even interfered with other people's children when visiting their homes.

"Your child didn’t eat anything."

"Shouldn’t they wear something warmer?"

"Do you have an extra T-shirt for them?"

At home, she tried to control her friends who came to help.

"Is that how you cut the bread?"

"You put the onions at the bottom of the salad? I put them on top."

"Why don’t you do it this way instead?"

"Come over here; this spot is better."

"Put your bag here."

"I never do it like that."

Meanwhile, she was keeping an eye on her children and managing conversations at the same time.

The list of things "how should be done" was endless in her mind.

She treated her daughters the same way. One day, while they were out, one of her daughters wanted to have some water.

"Sweetheart, there’s a bottle in the car. Go get it. No need to waste money." She ordered.

It was extremely hot, and her teenage daughter didn’t feel like walking to the car. She also knew her mother well. Instead of arguing, she simply chose not to drink any water. But her mother wouldn’t let the matter drop.

"Why don’t you just go and get it from over there. You’re being lazy."

"Mom, it’s hot enough already. I’m not drinking it!" the daughter replied, but to no avail.

But even that didn’t end the conversation. In the end, she was trying to settle the matter over a half-liter plastic bottle of water.

Her older daughter was calmer than her younger sister; she didn't like to talk much. She would take care of her sister. Her sister, who was in elementary school, was cute, active, couldn't sit still, made a mess while playing, and made-up games in her own imaginary world. Naturally, it was very difficult to talk to her. She and her husband said, 'We were wrong when we looked at the older daughter's calmness. We said parenting is easy. We decided to have a second child, but if we had known, we would have thought again.'

Life didn’t always go as planned. The more people want something, the further away they go without realizing it.

One day, while staying at their summer house, they had friends over for a visit. They were preparing a meal, but she was busy running around bringing towels for those who had just used the bathroom. She followed guests who entered the house with their shoes on, handing them slippers. She even cleaned the floor wherever someone had stepped with their shoes on. It got to the point where guests didn’t even know where to sit in her house.

Finally, the table was ready. There was a surprise she hadn’t noticed. Her friends had remembered that it was her birthday last week. While the meal was being prepared, they had secretly stored a cake in the neighbor’s fridge. More importantly, they had managed to keep it a surprise. After dinner, they brought out the cake. The cake was a surprise, but the candles were missing. Instead of appreciating the cake, she fixated on the missing candles.

“I can’t believe it. You didn’t even get candles?” She was teasing her husband.

Her eyes watered when she blew on the cake. Her eyes always watered when she made a joke or when she scolded her husband. It was a sign that her emotions were becoming overactivated. She cut the cake but didn’t even thank the people who had brought it. Whether the situation was good or bad, she was always tense. She couldn’t shake off her anxiety and was deeply unhappy.

Was it possible for a person’s perception to be so closed that they couldn’t even recognize a kind gesture or a surprise meant just for them?

She paid attention to every detail of her children's lives, her home, and meals, yet she failed to realize one fundamental truth: no human being is perfect. Life wasn’t meant to be lived in constant dissatisfaction. Yet she remained blind to the blessings she already had.

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                      Experiential Design Teachings and Decision-Making Themed Blog

Experiential Design Teachings aim to give purpose to a person's life.

To be happy and successful in life...

"Since the existence of humankind on Earth, the greatest friend and foe have never changed. The person in the mirror..." 

Yahya Hamurcu 

Who’s Who? The Art of Understanding People 
Mastery in Relationships 
The Psychology of Success
Mastery in Avoidance
Designer (Strategy Design)

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