Birthday Dissatisfaction

It was that day—her granddaughter Şenay’s birthday had finally arrived. This had been the main topic of conversation at home for nearly two weeks. Who would be invited to the party, the snack list, what type of music would be played, what would the birthday theme be?… The questions and agendas never seemed to end. After several changes in decision, they had finally settled on a mermaid theme. Anything shiny, blue, or decorative found in the market had been bought and brought home. Balloons, ribbons, colorful candles, gifts for the children, face painting, and even two people were hired to play games with the kids.

Mr. Asım watched all this frantic preparation from a distance, as it unfolded between his wife, daughter, and granddaughter. In fact, all the work was being done by his wife and daughter, while Şenay was mostly giving them instructions. Those two poor women were running around frantically, trying to please Şenay. One day, Mr. Asım couldn’t take it anymore and said, “Honestly, if we were organizing Şenay’s engagement party, it wouldn’t be this elaborate. Aren’t you going a bit overboard?” His wife and daughter were slightly offended and reacted harshly. Still, the thought “Are we overdoing it?” crossed both of their minds. But they quickly dismissed it. They checked the time—they had a meeting in two hours with the venue owner and the event coordinator. They needed to get ready quickly to avoid traffic.

Her daughter said to her mother: “Mom, hurry up and get ready. I’ve got the checklist. After the meeting, we’ll stop by that party supply shop again and see if our order has arrived. Ugh, I really hope it has. If not, Şenay will cry a lot, and I no longer have the patience to console her.”

Hearing her own words, she paused for a moment and realized how tired she had become. She wondered if it was really necessary to do all this for a five-year-old’s birthday. But they had already started, and if they didn’t finish it, they wouldn’t be able to calm Şenay down.

On her birthday, Şenay wore her mermaid costume. Her parents were also dressed to match the theme and even wore crowns. Mr. Asım was reluctantly made to wear a blue t-shirt by his wife—at least the color would fit the theme. Şenay’s parents welcomed the guests and guided them to their tables, while Şenay ran around with her friends, as if she hadn’t been the one who had demanded all the preparations. Now, all she could see was her friends and the games.

The cake was cut, photos were taken, and then it was time to open the gifts. People lined up with their presents and gave them one by one. Contrary to expectations, there was no sign of joy on Şenay’s face. For most gifts, she said, “I already have this,” or “The other version of this is better.” Her mother tried to cover up the situation, thanking people on her behalf. Embarrassed, she tried to justify it by saying, “Kids these days… they’re so smart. It’s hard to please them.”

We’ve started labeling these unsatisfied children as Generation Y, Generation Z, “today’s kids”… But could we have created these modern children with our own hands? We never asked ourselves this question. In the past, even if parents had the means, they would only give their children so much, and we labeled those elders as ignorant. Now, regardless of means, we scrape together everything to shower children with opportunity. Birthday parties, report card celebrations, multiple vacations a year, non-stop weekend activity plans… One room in every house has turned into a toy room…

Despite all this, we see a generation that is unhappy and unsatisfied. So, one can’t help but wonder: Could there be an inverse relationship between opportunity and happiness? All evidence points to yes. The more parents tried to ensure their children lacked nothing to make them happy, the unhappier the children became—with complaints to match. They didn’t strive for anything, and the joy of attaining something was short-lived. Soon after, they no longer liked what they had and began wanting the next best thing. Parents worked to get that next best thing too. But when it arrived, the children remained unhappy, wanting the one beyond that. And so the cycle continued—a generation of unsatisfied and unhappy children, with families tirelessly trying to please them.

In reality, the answer is clear, as it is with everything: Whatever we increased and disrupted the balance with, we must now reduce. The generation we made unhappy by overloading them with possibilities can be made happy again by reducing them. Only by striving, by making an effort, and by waiting a little can they experience the true joy of achieving something—and that is their right.

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                      Experiential Design Teachings and Decision-Making Themed Blog

Experiential Design Teachings aim to give purpose to a person's life.

To be happy and successful in life...

"Since the existence of humankind on Earth, the greatest friend and foe have never changed. The person in the mirror..." 

Yahya Hamurcu 

Who’s Who? The Art of Understanding People 
Mastery in Relationships 
The Psychology of Success
Mastery in Avoidance
Designer (Strategy Design)

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